Often as I am about to begin something new, which is beyond my comfort zone, my mind goes back to high school.
To the research project I never finished. I spent hours upon hours poring over books, researching and collecting information, writing it down on 3x5 cards, trying to organize it all. But then I became overwhelmed and didn't know what to do next, so I quit.
I let fear and uncertainty enter in and I did what was easy...I left the project unfinished. (Interestingly enough, the research paper was to be about the history of newspapers, but at the time I had no idea I would spend 11 years working at one.)
I regret that I left my paper undone. Actually, I have a lot of regrets about missed opportunities, relationships that I left untended, which eventually fell apart, projects begun that were later abandoned, ideas and dreams that were never pursued.
They were left undone, untended, un-pursued because I became bored, or lazy, or fearful, or focused on my own inadequacies and weaknesses.
Now I wonder, why does God continue to entrust me with His work, His ideas, with furthering His kingdom? What if I mess up again, or don't do it right or disappoint someone? Or worst of all, disappoint God?
Why indeed does God choose weak, fearful, finite, mortal vessels to carry on His kingdom work? Why does He entrust us frail children with the all-important, life-changing Gospel?
Because God's power is made perfect in weakness. His Divine power shines best through the cracks of our frailties.
It doesn't make sense - at least to the world's logic, but it makes sense to God. He knows what He is doing.
He wants us to leave the past behind and move forward in forgiveness and by faith.
And we are not acting independently. The Father has adopted us into His family - calling us His own children (Romans 8:14-17). The Son Jesus Christ is our Advocate (I John 2:1). And the Holy Spirit is indwelling us with His power and life (John 14:16-17, 26). We are not alone.
So, whatever God calls us to, He will empower us to do it. It's true - we cannot do it in our "wisdom," from our own "power" or drawing on our own limited resources. But He is not asking us to.
He provides all we need to perform what He has called us to - accomplishing His great and divine purposes in and through us. Amazing.
I love the verse my mom would often quote to me, especially as I was a fearful and shy child and teenager.
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." - 2 Timothy 1:7
For whatever you may be facing or in the midst of, know that Christ desires to accomplish great things in and through you.
Rest, trust, fear not and move forward confidently by faith.
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