Why Can't I Have Their Life?

“If God made you special; why did He?”

My students tried their best to answer the “why” question, drawing from the last lesson about God making them in His image and thus they are special.

“Because I am made in His image.”

“Yes, but why did He make you in His image? Why are you here on earth?”

“To worship Him.”

“To serve Him.”

“True, but why did God make you?”

They were stumped. I grinned just as one might before revealing a super big and exciting secret.

“Because God has a plan for your life.”

I illustrated with a key and a padlock – they are the key and the padlock is God’s plan for them. One without the other is not useful and keys cannot be interchanged with other padlocks.

A key is designed for one padlock. The point: You were made on purpose for a purpose.

You were made ON purpose!

God planned, designed, and created you for a very unique plan, and you or your plan cannot be exchanged for anyone else and God’s unique plan for them.

My life is running quite different than I “planned.” As a wee lass, I dreamed of becoming a radio disc jockey or a famous writer or a celebrated detective. Those aspirations were as “big” as my small mind and heart could manage.

I didn’t foresee being a former-journalist-turned-untrained-teacher, living across the world, and teaching young people who are very different from me in nearly every way. I did not anticipate that going barefoot or wearing flip-flops and skirts would be my norm when I used to hate all of them. ;) Eating beans daily was not a perk I expected, though I have always loved beans! Growing up I couldn’t stand cold weather and hardly tolerated any play in the snow; perhaps God designed my body for warmer, equatorial climates.

Living halfway across the world from my family and some of my dearest friends was not on my radar 10 years ago.

Perhaps like many of us I compare my life with others, especially when they appear to be receiving or achieving what is not yet mine – marriage, children, university degrees, a house, speaking languages fluently, being taller or thinner or richer or tanner, or having a different nose.

Granted, some of these I lack because of my own choices; others are ones God may or may not give me.

I wonder what God thinks when I compare my life to others?

“Ruthie, I am writing your story. I designed your character to fit inside the plot I am unfolding. Don’t jump and change characters or plot lines. Your story is as unique as you are.”

What if Peter had compared his life with his Old Testament heroes?

“God, why can’t I ride a flaming chariot like Elijah?” “Is there a reason you don’t continue to appear in a burning bush to give me directions?” “I have to go to the market again. Why not send manna and meat as You used to?”

What if Paul had questioned God’s plan for him?

“Umm, God, was it really Your idea I be shipwrecked, arrested, imprisoned, left for dead? I mean look at John, he is exiled on an island, but that seems way more peaceful and desirable than my present circumstances – chained between two Roman guards.”

Sure, the Biblical saints struggled, doubted, and questioned God’s paths for them. Just this morning I read about Jeremiah wishing he had died in his mother’s womb. Really? Wow.

I wonder if such questioning grieves God as our doubts reveal our lack of trust in Him.

The problem is I and the rest of us humans are short-sighted. We can look back on our past, and we can see today, but we can’t catch a glimpse beyond life’s next curve. We are somewhere in the middle of the story, but we don’t know how it will keep unfolding, and how or when we will reach the climax.

I once heard there will come a day, likely after we’ve left earth and entered our eternal home, that we’ll look back on our lives and say, “I wouldn’t change a thing.”

For some it may be a difficult thought to process, especially considering the challenges, pain, struggles, losses, and hardships we have had and will still encounter. But, somehow God in His incredible sovereignty can weave all the good and the bad and the ugly of our lives and stories into a beautiful pattern – for our good and for His glory.

I can’t even wrap my mind around it. It’s just too far above my pea-brain and too far out for my short-sightedness.

But, walking with God is a walk of faith. Trusting a God I cannot see to lead me on a path I do not know toward a future I’ve only ever heard about.

When God called me to Uganda 8 years ago, He assured me with this verse:

“By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going.” Hebrews 11:8

(Incidentally, I used this verse as the inspiration for this blog’s title.)

God told Abraham to go – leave his home and country and go. Genesis 12 tells us God commanded Abraham to leave his country and kindred and father’s house “to the land that I will show you.”

It’s my understanding that in Middle Eastern culture, families stick together – for generations, and they generally stay in the same area for a long, long time. What God asked Abraham to do was entirely counter-cultural and far outside the norm.

Can you imagine Abraham trying to explain to his relatives? And, they might respond, “Okay, you’re leaving our home and family and livelihood, but where are you going? At least give us a clue so we can forward your mail.”

“I don’t know,” he might reply, “but God does. I don’t need to know, I just need to obey. God will show me the place and the people at the right time. He has told me what I need to know right now.”

He went, not knowing where he was going. And, God used Abraham’s trust-filled obedience in ways Abraham could never dream of.

“I will make of you a great nation...I will bless you and make your name great...You will be a blessing...and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.”

Wowsa. What amazing and incredible promises!

Would those have been granted if Abraham had chosen his own path or decided to stay in Ur or Haran? Maybe not. True, Abraham later tampered with God’s agenda, but he didn’t derail it.

Yes, God’s plan for Abraham is different than the ones He has for you and I – but no less special or important or good.

Looking back, I don’t want those long-ago small, childish dreams. I want God to keep writing my story and leading the way and choosing my path.

His ways are the best.

You were made on purpose for a purpose. Seek the Author of your story.

(P.S. Check out the "quotables" on the right for some of my favorite quotes on this topic.)

Should I Pray for Peace?

It’s an election year.

In America, but also in…

Benin

Bulgaria

Cape Verde

Chad

Comoros

Congo

Dijbouti

Equatorial Guinea

Ghana

Guyana

Haiti

Jamaica

Niger

Peru

The Gambia

And, in Uganda. 

Every five years, Ugandans vote for their president, members of parliament, and many other lower-level posts. Voting for the president occurs this Thursday, Feb. 18, and begins a several-week election process, ending mid-March.

While I have been keeping an eye on American politics, my interest is more keenly on what’s happening outside my own “front door.”

Truthfully, many Ugandans are tense and uneasy. The race is much closer than in past years and President Museveni, in office since 1987, has a higher likelihood of being replaced this time around. What is making us uneasy is what may occur after the voting – when people of any candidate are not happy with the results. And, the “losers” may not willingly or easily concede.

Yesterday, tear gas was released in the capital city of Kampala. One of the top presidential candidates defied a traffic re-routing order, was arrested, and later released. Last week, five people died in the Jinja area reportedly when the overloaded campaign truck they were riding in failed to navigate a corner and overturned. In addition to the deaths, many were injured.

So, we have been praying months and weeks for peace and safety and protection for Uganda and its people.

Yet, “peace” may not be what God wills for Uganda. By “peace” I mean how we mortals normally define it – as no interruption of our comfort and security.

Often what God wants goes directly against “easy and comfortable” for us, though it's for our greater good. Within sight of the cross, Jesus sought relief from the incredible and agonizing burden ahead, but He chose the Father’s will above His own physical well being. And, when we read the closing chapters of the greater world story God is telling, the unfolding of the end is anything but “peaceful.”

As Christians and citizens of the heavenly kingdom, we should desire God’s will above our own security, over the protection of those around us, more than provision of our physical needs.

We can do that because God’s already taken care of those matters. He hasn’t lost His grip on us or on the world. He remains as He always has been – King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

My ultimate security is not in who becomes president in Uganda or in America or in any other country. My “peace” should not depend on if my status quo life continues uninterrupted.

I do desire for protection and no loss of life, but ultimately I yearn for God’s peace – the kind that doesn’t necessarily dispel the storm, but rides it out with me.

My peaceful confidence is in the overarching sovereignty of God.

“He (Daniel) said, ‘Praise the name of God forever and ever, for He has all wisdom and power. He controls the course of world events; He removes kings and sets up other kings.’” Daniel 2:20-21 (NLT)

“No one from the east or the west or from the desert can exalt themselves. It is God who judges: He brings one down, He exalts another.” Psalm 75:6-7 (NIV)

“The king's heart is like a stream of water directed by the LORD; He guides it wherever he pleases.” Proverbs 21:1 (NLT)

Yes, I will pray for peace, but for God’s peace and for His will to be done in Uganda, in America, and on earth as it is heaven.

“’Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.’” John 14:27 (NIV)

“’I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.’” John 16:33 (NIV)

Note: Country elections list from https://www.ndi.org/electionscalendar

Gaining Perspective

 

View from the top of Lingira hill.

One of my favorite places is on the top of the hill which runs like a rocky backbone down the middle of the island.

A 20-minute hike up the stone-embedded and grass-covered slope and you reach the top. The stunning 360-view makes the breathless endeavor so worth it as you take in the immense lake, the other islands and the landforms of all shapes and sizes.

On the hilltop I gain a different perspective; I feel small. Not insignificant, just small in comparison to the vast panorama.

As I sat atop the hill last weekend, my ears were alerted to chirping and “clicking.” My eyes scanned the skies and I saw tiny birds flying, swooping and riding the air currents. I no longer felt like the small one as I watched these little creatures in their own world.

Looking toward the southeast from the hilltop.

I realized one’s vantage point can change one’s perspective.

I imagine in their own environment, my winged friends prize their station. But when they ride the massive waves of the air, they are “put in their place.”

A bird's eye view of the island.

Bigger than they, I feel significant in “my place” and the island I call home seems large enough – until I climb the hill and gain a new vantage point. The lake and landforms stretch as far as the naked eye can see. Lake Victoria is the second largest freshwater lake in the world, with thousands of islands scattered across its surface. The wide and long panorama puts me back in my humble position once again.

A massive lake with numerous islands and yet on a map, Lake Victoria shrinks in comparison to the continent on which it sits. It is put in its place. Africa has 54 countries and is the second-largest continent and the second most populous in the world.

Uganda in East Africa.

My home of Uganda is the world’s second most populous landlocked country, trailing only behind neighboring Ethiopia. (1) And it is the 35^th largest country in terms of population. Yet, it can be difficult to find on a map, compared to the enormity of the continent it is enveloped in and to the rest of planet Earth.

Africa itself is home to 1.13 billion people or about 15% percent of the world’s population. Its expanse covers six percent of the Earth’s total surface and 20 percent of its total land area. (2)

Speaking of the Earth, I love those film documentaries that show our planet from space – giving again a greater view.

On our blue and green globe, we feel pretty important. We used to think we were the center of the universe, until we took “a step back” and gained an accurate perspective.

Earth

According to NASA, if the sun was as tall as a typical front door, the Earth in comparison would be the size of a nickel. (3) As an inhabitant of our “important” planet, how do you feel now?

Again, according to NASA, there are billions of solar systems in our galaxy and billions of galaxies in the universe. (4) Have you ever tried to count to a billion?

Our solar system orbiting the sun.

Each time I look at the star-studded night sky, I am reminded of the immensity of the universe.

In our own realms we seem to know “our place” and our importance. Yet it is not our geographical location nor our status that gives us significance, it is the fact that we were created and are known by our Awesome Creator.

The same God who sees the tiny bird atop my small island is the same One who takes in our “immeasurable” universe in one glance. Just try and wrap your mind around that.

A sparrow cannot fall to the ground apart from His notice and yet the nations are a drop in the bucket to Him. (Matthew 10:29, Isaiah 40:15) How is this possible?

I don’t know and I can’t wrap my mind around it. But recognizing God’s amazing power and omniscience reminds me my problems are not difficult for Him. It is enough that He sees me and knows me as a unique and prized individual (Psalm 13) and expresses that what is important to me is important to Him. This is incredible, incomprehensible love.

When the status of our lives or our country or of our world begin to birth anxious thoughts in our hearts and minds, may I encourage you to watch the sparrows or look up at the night sky. Our God is an Awesome God. He sees all, He knows all; He is sovereign. Yes, He intimately knows our troubles, but He tells us not to worry because He’s in charge and always will be.

He’s got the whole world and so much more in His hands.

“Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

You have set your glory in the heavens.

Through the praise of children and infants

you have established a stronghold against your enemies,

to silence the foe and the avenger.

When I consider your heavens,

the work of your fingers,

the moon and the stars,

which you have set in place,

what is mankind that you are mindful of them,

human beings that you care for them?

You have made them a little lower than the angels

and crowned them with glory and honor.

You made them rulers over the works of your hands;

you put everything under their feet:

all flocks and herds,

and the animals of the wild,

the birds in the sky,

and the fish in the sea,

all that swim the paths of the seas.

Lord, our Lord,

how majestic is your name in all the earth!” Psalm 8 (NIV)

  

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uganda

2. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Africa

3. https://solarsystem.nasa.gov/planets/profile.cfm?Object=Earth

4. https://solarsystem.nasa.gov/planets/profile.cfm?Object=SolarSys

When the Lord is on Your Side…”

Incredible cloud formations over Lake Victoria.

“When the Lord is on your side,

Things already better,

Things already better

Things already better!”

This is a popular praise song here in Uganda and one I’ve likely sung hundreds of times in my time here. I have learned to not add the “are” to make it “Things are already…” and to pronounce “better” as “beddar” in the style of Ugandan-English. J

This simple song contains a powerful truth – when God is on our side, our situation is better because we always, always have hope in Him.

Today I joined with the members of the SHIM family as we gathered for prayer and sharing, reflected on the joys and challenges of last year, and looked forward in expectation of what God will do in 2015. Even in the first two months of the year it seems every member and/or family in the ministry has encountered difficulties with health and relationships, frustrations in work, ministry and finances, or disarming calamities and discouragement.

After last fall’s intense season of spiritual warfare, I am more aware that such challenges which take place in the physical realm are often strongly connected to the spiritual realm. And, this is one of Satan’s tricks – distraction and diversion. He seeks to shift our focus off what is really important – the eternal realities – to what is in comparison, superficial and less significant.

Yet, God calls us to lift our eyes off our circumstances and unto Him; to shift our gaze off this temporary reality to the promise of an amazing and glorious eternity with Him. But, how do we do that when the flood surrounds us and threatens to drag us under its powerful swells?

At least twice today as we gathered, people spoke of storms and recognizing that God is in the midst of our storms. One wise member commented that if we choose to leave the storm of our own accord, we may leave Jesus behind in it. Yet, Jesus is not only present in the challenge; He is most importantly above it as the Sovereign Lord.

“The LORD rules over the floodwaters. The LORD reigns as king forever.” (Psalm 29:10 NLT)

From what I can tell the Hebrew word for “flood” here means a type of destruction or destructive storm. Whether the psalmist was referring to Noah’s flood or another type of flood, it is not known. But, the author’s point was to emphasize the sovereignty of our God. He is above, He rules, He reigns – over all.

And while our Awesome and Powerful God is ruling over every single atom of this world, He is ever mindful of His own. Verse 11 concludes the psalm:

“The LORD gives His people strength. The LORD blesses them with peace.”

While He holds absolute and unchanging sway over the countless affairs of the universe – both large and small – He supplies, surrounds and fills His children with His amazing strength and peace.

This is our hope, this is our promise, and this is our reality. It is why we can confidently sing, “When the Lord is on our side, things (are) already better!”

Praise Him, for He rules in and above every storm. 

"Detours"

This picture was recently circulating Facebook. I really liked it. :)

One of my most memorable "detours" occurred last February. I had attended a wonderful graduation ceremony for my brother in ministry, Robert Wafula, as he received his master's degree in leadership.

The graduation was on time and finished early. Since the university is within about 40 minutes of Kampala, I figured I could "dash" to the capital city, check on my pending work permit, and be back on the road, headed toward Jinja, to arrive in time for the 5 p.m. graduation dinner. After all, it was only mid-day - plenty of time...right?

If I have learned anything while in Uganda, it is never, ever assume - anything.

My trip to the immigration office went very smoothly and so did the start of my return trip. But shortly an auto accident, complete with fire and smoke, sent us off the two-lane main road - on a detour on one-lane mud roads - for nearly 2 hours.

Our packed taxi (which resembled a VW bus) became just one of many vehicles of all shapes and sizes (including large fuel tanks) that attempted to navigate these too narrow, very muddy, very windy back roads. As we re-entered the paved main road, I discovered we were only a short distance ahead of where we had been two hours before, and not much closer to our destination.

I arrived in Jinja that evening sometime after 7 p.m., having missed the best of the party, and able to enjoy what remained of the nice meal.

My reaction? To cry tired tears of frustration. I kept asking myself, "Why? How? How did such a great day turn out so wrong?"

There have been other times in my life in which I didn't understand the "detours."

"God, why I am here? How long do you want me here? When will I get back to the 'real' plan you have for my life?"

The last time I visited my sister (in Nov. 2012), I heard a pastor share in a chapel service about "detours." He spoke of how we often think God can't use them or that they are "interruptions," pulling us off the main road He has for us. But, the pastor asked, what if the detour is the real path? Rather than trying to escape it, why not embrace it and realize it too is part of God's overall sovereign work in our lives?

Those words have come back to me this week. For years in my mind I had an idea of what God might have in store for me, and honestly it didn't include Uganda. I have been guilty of thinking my time here is a "detour" and that one day I will resume the original plan God has for me. Usually, that plan includes marriage, living back in the U.S. somewhere near family, and working in a support position for a ministry or mission organization.

Consequently, I have not allowed myself to fully settle here - physically, spiritually, emotionally - to relax and invest wholeheartedly in the path I am on now. I am being honest here, and it is not easy.

After four years here, I just recently bought a couple pieces of furniture, after living for too long out of plastic totes. I haven't seriously devoted myself to language studies - after all, I don't know how long I will still be here.

Unlike others who believe God is calling them to a lifetime in Uganda or other parts of Africa, I don't have that sense. Or maybe I am avoiding it.

Please don't misunderstand me. I do love my life here, where I live, who I work with, what I am doing, but yes, there are days when I seriously struggle with loneliness, discontentment, ingratitude, and the "grass is greener elsewhere" syndrome. Unfortunately, in my fallen nature I fall into the trap of thinking I am missing out on something, somewhere, rather than trusting that this is God's best for me right now, right here.

I had the blessing of being prayed over this past weekend. One thing spoken over me was I had lately become frustrated as I sought for a clear path and a clear vision. "God will give you one," I was told. Immediately, I thought, "What if that vision includes long-term work in Uganda? Am I ready for that?"

I don't know if I am ready. Honestly, I don't know what is ahead, how long I will be here, or what the "big picture" is. But I am slowly and stubbornly learning to trust Jesus for the next step of this journey, this adventure.

When we join Jesus on the path He has for us - winding as it may be - there are no such things as detours. He uses it all - every season, every circumstance, every encounter - to accomplish His purposes in and through us. It's pointless to worry about whether or not you are being "detoured" or on the "main road."

If Jesus is driving, you know all is under control - His control. So settle in and enjoy the ride. :)

"Off Days"?

A sunset view from the top of Lingira Island.

"I have quit asking God for things, instead I thank Him that He knows the unknown." This is a paraphrase of some wise words spoken last night by a good friend of mine.

Those words resurfaced this morning as I prayed for protection for some of our ministry members traveling from the island to Jinja. Rather than seeking God's protection for them, I shifted my petitions to instead thanking Him that He is a God who always protects.

How we pray reveals what we know and believe about our God. Yes, the Bible does tell us to "ask, seek and knock," (Matthew 7:7-8), but do we come as doubting children or trusting, believing children?

As I prayed it occurred to me that God does not have any "off days." His protection or sovereignty are never even a percentage point less than another day when we last made a request.

He is 100% Sovereign

He is 100% Loving

He is 100% Gracious

He is 100% Just

He is 100% Powerful

He is 100% Truth

He is 100% God

If He is even only 99.99% in any of these and He is innumerable other attributes, then He ceases to be God. He cannot drop or change by even a minuscule percentage point.

If we know this and really believe this, then our prayers should consist more of praise and thanksgiving than anything else.

What an amazing assurance and reality to know that God never, ever has "off days."